My talk on burnout comes from an emotional space for me – possibly laced with a bit of trauma.

Here it goes. 

I worked for a company for 23 years, an organization I deeply believed in. One that held values that I both personally and professionally believed in – people helping people. 

On 03 May 2022, the company made the decision to fire 190 employees labelling the exit a part of their transformation journey, with the new CEO driving the bus. 

My boss happened to be one of the 190 employees who were walked out that day. My boss and I had a great relationship, we were a solid leadership team. She was the head and I was the heart. Our employees considered themselves very lucky to work with such a dynamic duo. 

At this point in my career as Assistant Manager, I was already feeling the struggle of not being able to keep up. I was responsible for 5 employees, auditing and adjudicating loans, daily reports, coaching, mentoring, performance reviews etc, but I also pulled the estate administration from our employees desks so they could focus on financial targets. A task that I quickly learned was a full-time job in itself. By May 3rd, I found myself administering over 75 estate files on my own but I always knew that my manager had my back and offered to take on other tasks, so I could focus on estate files and our customer experience. 

A new manager was appointed two weeks later. A manager that had a terrible reputation and he quickly lived up to the rumours about his lack of leadership. I no longer had a supportive manager and quickly started to feel like I was failing. I was drowning and scrambling for air. I was no longer able to coach and mentor our employees, I was working overtime but finding that was still not enough to keep up. The front of the branch was now leaning on me for support because it was evident they could not count on the new manager. I was giving 5% to each person and was feeling defeated. I perceived that I was a terrible leader and our employees deserved better. I was an emotional wreck at home and couldn’t give my family what they also deserved. My family deserved better. I deserved better. 

3 months quickly went by and I woke up one morning thinking I was having a heart attack. My chest was tight, my heart was racing, I was light-headed and felt like I could pass out. My doctor quickly informed me that I was suffering from burnout, and placed me on two weeks’ leave. 

I am a therapist. I am trained to identify the warnings but I didn’t see them in myself. What does that say about me as a therapist? These are all the dark thoughts that went through my head during my two weeks off. This time was supposed to be spent resting and relaxing but I found myself questioning, analyzing and critiquing all the qualities that our employees continue to show up every day to experience. This was the darkest two weeks of my 45 years on this earth.

I tell you this story because it is SO easy to miss these warning signs. You become so incredibly dedicated to the cause, and to your work, that you forget to take care of yourself. 

If you take anything away from this article, I want you to know how important boundaries are. 

Boundaries are hard to establish because we think it’s mean to say “no” to someone. It doesn’t have to be offensive. What if you had a mother that takes up SO much of your time when you go visit her. She never wants you to leave so you find yourself spending hours at her house. You then start to dread calling her or visiting her because you have clearly not established boundaries. When she calls to invite you over, you could simply say: “Yes, I would love to come visit but I can only stay for an hour.” Then hold yourself accountable to that hour. When you leave, your mother is satisfied because she got to visit you and you find yourself content because you have given yourself the gift of time by not staying so long. 

Other signs of Burnout: 

  • Fatigue 
  • Irritable or Impatient 
  • Lack of concentration 
  • Lack of motivation 
  • Feeling emotionally depleted 
  • Feeling Overwhelmed 
  • Reduced efficacy 
  • Frequent illness 
  • Withdrawing from outside activities 

If you start to see yourself falling victim to these signs, I want you to consider implementing two strategies: Set a boundary for your time and get 30-45 min of exercise per day if you can. 

Did you know that 30-45 min of exercise per day is equivalent to taking an antidepressant? 

Make yourself a priority. It’s not selfish, you are too important not to put yourself first. Your mental health matters. 

Trish.